I still can't believe that you are gone. That you are no longer walking this earth. You were such a strong force. You were so so passionate about everything you believed in. You were also extremely sensitive and prone to lashing out at those closest to you. We remained friends, though. For 19years. I have mixed feelings because we had so many great times together and you also brought a great deal of stress and anxiety to my life. I learned a lot hanging out with you.
Mostly what I want to say, though, is that I'm sorry that I never came to see you after you were diagnosed with cancer. It was so soon after the scathing email you sent about how you felt I was screwing up my child badly by not putting her in school. For me, that was the last straw. No need to go on being friends when you attack my child. But, then, you sent the email about your diagnosis and surgery. I figured you were recovering and doing fine. About a year later I found out you were receiving at home care and found out you weren't doing so well. I had thoughts of coming to see you, making up..forgiving...I thought I had more time to think it over... It is so hard for me because on one hand, I know I did the right thing with cutting ties after the things you said. But, I do wish I visited just once to say goodbye. I'm sorry that I never came.